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heart melts

by Sean Russell

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1.
there's not much left of the building where i went to pre school there's not much left of the good old days they died with patience there's not much left of the playground where i broke your collar there's not much left of the sand pit or the elevator no i don't need your sarcasm, boy need your attention no i don't need your invitation need your affection but i don't chose, and least of all i care and i don't know, cause i don't live here there's not much left of the garden where i killed 10 ants there's not much left of the notes we wrote despite our parents there's not much left of that lemonade stand by the corner there's not much left of the structure fire off of bouton no i don't need your apology, boy need your reaction no i don't need your solemn company need your affection but i don't chose, and least of all i care and i don't know, cause i don't live here
2.
i like falling asleep, i like your new tv i like naming the sheep the names that you call me i like the evenings in november i like the cold teeth and the specter i like fat free milk, i like to stare at your shoes i like vitamin supplements shaped like cartoons i like the sound of autumn falling down i like the song of winter willing i like the sound of autumn falling down i like the seasonal candle selection at walmart and oh, i know i know so far as i hope and no, i know that hopeful isn’t helpful i like short walks home, i like the cracks in your bones i like thinking about you and i don't like petting zoos i like the evenings in november i like the cold teeth and the specter i like climbing trees, i don’t like surgery i like apple pies and i like both of your eyes i like the sound of autumn falling down i like the song of winter willing i like the sound of autumn falling down i like the warmwear section at JC penny and oh, i know i know so far as i hope and no, i know hopeful isn’t helpful but hey, i guess it doesn’t hurt to hug a lot and yeah, i know hopeful isn’t helpful
3.
this sermon 04:35
she left the note out on the dresser took my coat and left me dead wrote in pen her explanation if words can bleed hers can't so fill or starve i wouldn't know it these fallen stars taste like ash she wouldn't stay i couldn't make her but if i could run i wouldn't chase her we will stare there's no one to make you this sermon needs drugs this sermon needs drugs this sermon needs drugs this sermon needs drugs la da da time magazine's worst man at losing but there's no comfort left in blue and there's no comfort in you if this is love then fuck love and fuck me too we killed the myth outside we saw the taxi coming from miles away ohhh from miles away ohhh ohhh this sermon needs drugs la da da she left the note out on the dresser took my coat and left me dead wrote in pen her explanation if words can bleed hers can't so fill or starve i wouldn't know it these fallen stars taste like ash she wouldn't stay i couldn't make her but if i could run i wouldn't chase her
4.
look at me dead along your imperfect hairline asleep like your sense of humor like your castled affection beneath your bed keep your sounds to yourself, dear i wish you’d stay, i’ll keep my bedroom tidy i’ll make you breakfast at noon i’ll keep the heater running and you’ll keep warm too i’ll put the bottle down put the bottle down i’ll put you back down stream crumpled like my fallen ego i hope to meet you in spring we’ll cherish bugs and winter’s leaving i’ll grow an apple tree keep your silence to yourself, dear i’ll put the bottle down put the bottle down i’ll put you back down stream, next to me, downstream next to me i'll be, next to you, next to me downstream next to me, downstream (i'll put the bottle down) i’ll put you back down stream crumpled like my fallen ego i hope to meet you in spring we’ll cherish bugs and winter’s leaving i’ll grow an apple tree keep your silence to yourself, dear
5.
settle down 02:54
settle down it's not that hard to fake but it's easier than it appears to be to you but it's not dying yet, it's just changing moods and changing minds let go hold of the reigns of your doubt before they let go of you settle down take some time to think you should take a breath season's change clothes just like you do every day, they're changing moods and changing minds let go hold of the leaves on your arms before they let go of you settle down your bones won't rattle anymore and your nerves will grow like irises, from the base your spine until you're flowering, changing moods, yeah and changing minds let go hold of the things in your past before they let go of you they let go of you they let go of you they let go of you you

about

written and recorded in my bedroom over the course of october/november 2013. one room mic, minimal post production, lots of static, lots of love <33

thanks to girl worship/ chris dudek for being awesome as usual, my housemates for putting up with the noise, evan and sankarsh for the early feedback, and mike lawrence for the microphone

xoxo

credits

released December 14, 2013

all music, mastering, and art by Sean Russell

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Sean Russell Troy, New York

i make music sometimes and put it here. enjoy:)

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